3 Warning signs you need a break from swinging
We all need a break at one point or another, but perhaps you need one Now.
Don’t worry, it’s not a sign of the end of it all, it is often a refresh mechanism for new beginnings.
You may say that you are absolutely fine but the fights and disagreements between you are increasing. What used to be fun times and moments to recollect later with laughter is now a source of friction. It happens to all of us. Some couples will get to that point quicker than others and some will never come to this at all. We are all different with unique relationships.
A break doesn’t mean you’re not coming back to swinging. It only means you need to re-think and regain vision of what you wanted and still want from swinging and where you want to go. Swinging is a chance for couples to explore and have fun. It should not be a source of conflict and fights.
Maybe it’s time to spend time alone, to have some quality time together and rediscover yourselves. It’ll strengthen your bond and at the same time it’ll give you better idea of what new adventures you like to explore when you decide to return. This break is almost like pressing the refresh button on your relationship.
During this break you will have a chance to talk about new fantasies, discover whether there are new-shared interests, and possibly redefine your boundaries.
Following are a few warning signs that you might benefit from a break.
1. The fun is gone
You find that you are not having as much fun as you used to. Maybe it’s because you’re not meeting the right people or because you are moving too fast into things you or your partner are not ready for yet. The element of excitement, the playfulness and fun is replaced by a sense of anxiety and discomfort. It might be that one or both of you is stepping over the agreed boundaries or you are not really taking time to reassess how you feel about the new ground you have embarked without fully talking about it or talking about it afterwards. Sometimes sitting down and talking about it gives the other partner a insight of your feelings and your reasons to wanting to try something new. Best policy is to move slowly into something new and talk about it afterwards. However, when we have been in the scene for a while it’s assumed that both are on the same page and all the previous steps are skipped.
Fundamentally, none of the partners in the couple intentionally means to overstep or hurt, caught in the excitement they become unaware of indelicacies
Sometimes these oversights are due to excess drinking and then losing real perspective. No need to worry, this is the very fabric of growing stronger together; we’re bound to make a few mistakes here and there.
Swinging should be something both partners are happy to do and want to continue doing.
2. Night out is a reason to fight
When your nights out are a reason to fight and not to laugh, experiment and talk about it the next week in fondness. Instead you have a night at the swinger’s club filled with fights and arguments. It’s clear you need a break.
Your public outbursts or your sulking stunts are affecting you and others that got caught in the web of disagreement. For your sake and the sake of other swingers leave the club, go to a bar and have a nice night out just the two of you. It’s not a sign that you are at the brink of a breakup; it’s only a sign that you are in need of some alone time.
3. You are starting to behave like strangers
What was once a night filled with excitement and wonder has become a night where you feel disconnected, anxious and honestly feel like you are strangers. You wonder if your partner has any idea of what you like and whether they remember your boundaries. It’s pretty clear you need to have a few tête-à-tête. Sometimes the only way forward is to take a step back. Have a break, enjoy the simpler things in life and rediscover your partner again. Once you feel you are ready to return, it’ll be fun all over again without the fights and misunderstandings.
It’s time for a break if you can check off more than one of these reasons. If possible book a vacation for a week and re-examine your place in the lifestyle. Swinging should be something you want to do and are happy to be part of as a couple.
The best relationships are those that exist in cycle of giving between partners. Instead of getting hung up on and arguing about what each of you refuse to do in bed , sometimes it’s actually easier to just do them and then see how happy it makes your partner. Then something that was unpleasant and the source of contention in the past, becomes something that you actually want to do for your partner. However, a break sometimes reinvigorates your desires for the scene and for each other. It is definitely not the end of all but often a new beginning.