Debunking Swingers & Swinging
Despite numerous literature available online and a handful of published books about swingers and swinging, there are still some misconceptions and myths that seem to linger on. What is worse is that they are widely believed by those with no understanding of what swinging is all about. Let’s then debunk swingers and swinging.
Most people have preconceived notions about swingers and swinging, some of it might be true and some completely fictional.
Let’s then look at the top misconceptions and myths about Swingers and swinging and establish why they are not true.
1. All swingers are old, fat and ugly
Swingers are people of all walks of life; they are of many different ethnic and econ-social backgrounds, different age and size. There are the beautiful, the average and the ordinary, exactly what you’d expect to see when you go out on a night out to a pub, nightclub or restaurant. Some people will turn heads because they are gorgeous, others because they are striking, some because they are different and some because you can’t decide and others because simply they are not your type. What is unequivocal is that most swingers are friendly and respectful.
2. Swingers parties are big orgies
Orgies are part of the swinger lifestyle and those who enjoy this type of encounters will do anything they can to be part of it, but if this is not your thing you will make other choices.
To assume that all swingers parties are big orgies is just not true, swingers do not have sex with anyone or everyone. Swingers are selective, they will only engage in play if they share the same likes, are sexually compatible and attractive.
Most swingers parties are very much like your ordinary nightclub scene, where people chat, dance and have fun. Maybe the only difference would be that women in a swingers party will dress sexy and provocatively, they are not afraid to openly express their sexuality. The reason to be at a swingers party varies in so far as to why couples come to these parties.
Couples go to swingers parties to meet other attractive, and like minded couples and if they do meet a couple who share the same likes they head to a hotel to have fun together.
3. Couples become swingers because they are in unhappy relationships
A swingers lifestyle is no playground for a relationship with problems as it would worsen their problems. Swinging is not the answer to relationship with problems. Couples who survive the lifestyle are usually couples who have secure and strong relationships. To become part of this lifestyle you need to communicate with open honesty. Where you open up to your partner about your fantasies and fetishes and work out what you both are happy to pursue and fulfill in reality
Swingers use this lifestyle as a means to spice their sex life, to add adventure to otherwise a monotonous marriage after years of ‘couplehood’ and definitely not as a means to mend or fix a broken relationship.
4. Swingers are more likely to contract an STI
Swingers are couples who have already invested a lot of time in communicating boundaries, bucket lists and most certainly take in consideration safety. As when you are single and dating you take precaution because after all you would ruin the fun if you do not use protection. Let’s be honest here, whether you are a swinger or a single person having sex with more than one person, you will be exposed to STI’s, being in the lifestyle doesn’t increase the risk. Therefore it’s important to have safe sex at all times.
5. Swinging is initiated by the male/husband
The male in the relationship might drive the idea of swinging or experimentation with group sex. But it’s not exclusively so. It’s expected men to bring the subject of swinging up as women are taught to not pursue sex and their sexuality aggressively as men do.
However, there are many instances where it is the wife who suggests swinging.
Swinging has a special attraction for women who want to experiment with their bisexuality or be the centre of attention of two males.
Swinging might present many challenges to a relationship including possible feelings of jealousy, low self-esteem, and issues with trust. Some couples, however, report that the act of swinging or indulging in group sex does the opposite for them, increasing the women’s confidence and allowing husbands to see their wives in a new light, strengthening their commitment to one another. It all depends on the couple and their reasons for participating.
Although swinging enhances or improves the sex lives of many couples, it’s not for everybody. If you want to try it but have insecurities or you are not able to communicate well with your partner, swinging can ruin your relationship instead of improving it. Swinging enhances only relationships that are strong and happy.
Today swinging includes a wide range of couples and singles, looking to fulfill many different types of fantasies. It has changed dramatically since the days of the key parties.