How to ask for the sex you want

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 How to ask for the sex you want

Communicating at work, with friends and in relationships is pivotal to better and bigger things. Communicating about what is important to us is often not easy, especially in relationships. How to ask for the sex you want can be challenging but not impossible. True to say that it can be intimidating and scary but do not avoid it because you are too scared, too shy or think you are going to hurt your partner or worse even going to be judged.

Communicate your desires despite the fear of judgement or disrupting the balance. Have a discussion about it because we all have fantasies and desires that we wish we could share with our partners. What’s more, in doing so, you might be opening the door for them to vent out some of their own fantasies and desires. What could happen? Better and more sex that you both enjoy and a deeper connection. Here are some suggestions on how to ask for the sex you want.

1. Speak up

Speak about it. If you are a bit hesitant, test your partner by starting small. Ask questions that gauge their interest or curiosity. If they seem interested then you can expand on the conversation a bit more, next time you get talking.

 2. Listen

Ask them questions about what they like to do more in bed or if they want to try something new. At this point listen to them and see how they answer you. Listen to their answers and the tone because these will give you clues as to how ‘open’ they are about the conversation. How willing they are at trying new things and how important your sexual satisfaction is to them.

 3. Be bold

While many women are often hesitant to be the first to board the subject, it’s surprisingly received well by their partners who see them as sexually confident. Forget about old attitude where women felt that if they were to express or ask for what they wanted in bed, they would be seen as too forward or too sexually aggressive. Women today, are re-writing new rules and standards and are asking for what they want in bed. YAY to that. Sometimes, you have to be bold and it pays off.

4. Use erotica

If you are a terribly shy person and really want to have the conversation, be creative. Stream some porn that speaks about what you like and let it suggest your desires. Seeing that you were the one choosing the erotic movie and you looked turned on by it. Your partner will soon figure it out and start the conversation for you. All you have to do is continue the conversation. It is important that you still have the conversation together to let them know what turns you on and how you want it.

For all it’s worth, speaking up about your desires and fantasies is what’s going to connect you deeper and make your romping more fun.

 

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About Author

Tom Elllis

Tom has just started to listen to his call for writing and he’s very enthusiastic about sharing his views on sexuality, life, alternative expression and humour.