Lolita

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Posted In: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play

- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 24, 2015 at 4:51 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2402
  
  Deciphering Your Sex Dreams
  
  Sex is so awesome that if you are not doing it, you are dreaming about it. Sometimes sex in dreams takes you places you haven’t thought about or you don’t admit thinking about it. Whether it is out of fear or it’s something you just don’t see yourself being part of in real life
  
  .Do you find yourself having a recurring dream where you’d be sexually involved with someone you’d never even think of looking at? Or doing something ‘crazy’ that you know for certain you would do? What was that about?
  
  Most of us have had erotic dreams, which can run the gamut from sexy and intriguing to just plain bizarre.
  
  The science of decoding dreams is based on centuries of research and professional anecdotal evaluation by psychology pioneers such a Freud and Jung. Many experts say figuring out what your dreams symbolise can help improve your sex life. Dreams pick up where your walking attention leaves off and sometimes hint at things we can benefit from.
  
  Here are a few sexual dreams deciphered for you:
  
  Sex with an ex:
  
  You finally got away from them, like a bad rash and somehow they find you in the land of nod. Don’t get your nickers in a twist; sleeping with an ex signifies that you might have some fears about a new relationship or are having some of same type of feelings that you felt for the ex. Then again it could be that sex with your ex was darn good but everything else was crap. Your subconscious could be waving you a little red flag here if you are in another relationship.
  
  Sex with a celebrity
  
  Dreams are rarely about the dream itself it usually is about some other meaning. Sex dreams are no different, it usually isn’t about the deed itself but about the message it’s trying to deliver. By dreaming of sex with someone famous you could be projecting your desire for fame, wealth or success .
  
  Sex with a stranger
  
  Sometimes no matter how hard you try you can’t remember a face, it may be it wasn’t there or you chose to forget it, either way you don’t remember. It was anonymous, a stranger. This could be your urge to seek adventure, trying new things, doing risky things. Maybe you are ready to go out and try new sexual scenarios.
- Participant
  Lolita on March 23, 2015 at 9:01 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2396
  How To Role Play Your Sexual Fantasies.
  
  Role-playing your sexual fantasies opens a new world of sexual possibilities.
  
  Some fantasies are best left as fantasies, not every fantasy has to be acted out, could be you aren’t ready or you don’t know where to start. This is why role-playing is so great it gives you a chance to imagine a situation without the stress or threat.
  
  Anything is possible when you role-play a fantasy; you feel safe, test the waters and stretch your imagination. Here are five steps to introducing role-play into your life:
  
  What is fantasy role play
  
  Fantasy role-play is when you immerse deep into another character, which will release you from the restrictions you put on yourself in your daily life. You can take more risks and go places you dare not as you are out of character, you become the dirty cop, the naughty nurse or the strict mistress. A little preparation and the difference in your bedroom fun will be huge.
  
  Role-playing requires some planning.
  
  Most people are a bit timid when they first start. Look at getting uniforms, to dress up as someone else and to play the role to actually be in character. Accordingly, prepare for the role you are going to play, it’s like foreplay. Have a few lines in your head prepared and where you are going to be. Are you going to be in the bedroom, in the dinning or are you going to a hotel?
  
  The more you prepare and rehearse the more you get out of your role-play fantasy.
  
  Consider the following.
  
  These points are important to any role-play but most important is that you be creative.
  
  Who do you want to be?
  
  What’s your scenario?
  
  How can you dress it up?
  
  What are the boundaries?
  
  Add your own to the list.
  
  Pick a fantasy you both are comfortable with
  
  Teacher, Nurse, Businessman, Mistress, Cop, there are so many to pick from.
  
  To start pick a character you can role-play easily and you feel comfortable with.
  
  It’s only a fantasy so just have fun with it.
  
  Free from the chuckles
  
  Fantasy role-play can free you from the chuckles and the restrictions of your daily doings. Don’t leave any detail out; shying away will also kill a lot of the sexual heat and spontaneity. Details can take you deeper into a sexual role play scenario.
  
  Acting out a fantasy can and should be part of your relationship, as it will create strength and excitement in your relationship. Role-playing challenges your boundaries and introduces new dimension in your sex life. It is also a safe manner of exploring a fantasy you want to re-enact in reality.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 23, 2015 at 8:28 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2386
  
  What to pack for a swingers holiday
  
  When swingers go on vacation, they come prepared for some serious partying and you can tell by the things they pack in their suitcase. If only the airport security new!!
  
  It’s not that swingers pack anything illegal; it’s just that we pack a bit more than sunscreen. Bathers. Hats and some dinner dresses. There are all the sex toys and maybe some tie up aid that is shoved deep in the luggage.
  
  Here are some of the things you want to pack in your suitcase for a swingers vacation:
  
  1. Sex Toys
  
  For certain swingers are not the only ones packing sex toys into their luggage. Mainstream, vanilla folks have an assortment of their own and are just as likely to pack their sex toys when they go on holidays. Maybe they are not as extensive in their choice of sex toys, swingers are more likely to also pack, a strap-on, a double-sided dildo and a butt-plug in their suitcase. They might shock our vanilla friends but for us they are the essential when we travel to an exotic location. In some of serious partygoers, you may find things like a sybian, a magic wand and a ten-inch dildo you can stick to the wall of in the bathroom shower. Yep, the mere essentials for a good time away.
  
  2. Lingerie & Dress-ups
  
  Pack the right lingerie, not the kind that you buy at the shops. We are talking here about fantasy lingerie or wicked weasel collection. These types of lingerie are daring, provocative and have enough tease-factor to accomplish what you set out to accomplish.
  
  Dress-ups are a must, at least pack 2-3 press-ups, nurse, fireman, policewoman, secretary or naughty schoolgirl. Whatever gets your juices going! There will be a party or two that will be themed and imagine your disappointment had you not packed for the occasion.
  
  3. Gear
  
  There will be a night where your mood is demanding something kinkier or 50 Shades of Grey kinky. While packing throw in extra scarves or ties, pack some rope, handcuffs, whip, blindfold and strap-on.
  
  4. Playlist
  
  Great music, and let’s admit it alcohol, are social lubricants that get things going. It’s almost certain that you will bring a couple back to your room and the right music and some alcohol will ascertain that your night finishes on the right note.
  
  Swingers like teenagers like to party and have fun, the very reason why swinger couples look younger than their vanilla counterparts.
  
  There will be a night where your mood is demanding something kinkier or 50 Shades of Grey kinky. While packing throw in extra scarves or ties, pack some rope, handcuffs, whip, blindfold and strap-on.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 19, 2015 at 1:23 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2360
  
  No it’s true, these 7 things are killing your libido.
  
  Our libido is far more complex than most of us think and there are things we do every day that lower our libido. Libido or sexual desire is much more than just being attracted to someone, there is far more to it than just that.
  
  Certain chemical that are introduced in our bodies through food, gels and sex toys are messing with our hormones and plummeting our libidos.
  
  Get your libido back in track by eliminating the list below.
  
  1. Soft drinks
  
  Some soft drinks like Mountain Dew, list brominated vegetable oil, or BVO, as an ingredient. Bromine products are linked to male infertility, impotence, and decreased libido.
  
  2. Cash register receipts
  
  According to a study published in Fertility and Sterility, discovered that men with higher BPA levels in their urine experienced low sperm counts and lower sperm quality than men with lower levels. To keep your sperm—and sex drive—levels healthy, turn down unnecessary receipts and avoid another huge source of BPA, canned foods, including soup.
  
  3. Not enough sleep
  
  Your libido is not classified as a life or death function by your body, so when it’s tired and chronically so, your body will put its limited energy resources into its vital body processes. Your body will tell your libido to wait until it has some energy reserves. So sleep. Can you have sex when you’re tired all the time? Sure. Will you want to? No and no and no again.
  
  4. Sex Toys
  
  Certain sex toys and other vinyl- containing products can harm male and female libidos. Everything from that plastic vibrator, your shower curtain can affect your hormones and lower testosterone, killing the desire to have sex in both man and women. Look then for glass or medical grade silicone vibrators for your bedroom play without killing your libido.
  
  5. Scent Candles and Air Fresheners
  
  Aren’t candles supposed to set the sexy mood? Yes, but if you are using the artificial scented candles you are propagating sex drive killing chemicals into the air. The fake fragrances in candles and air fresheners also act as fake sex hormones, which can put a damper on testosterone levels. Choose beeswax candles.
  
  6. Microwave Popcorn
  
  Popcorn is a favourite snack among many people but not a friend for your libido. Nonstick chemicals that are used I the inner lining of microwave popcorn bags and in non-stick cooking pots often contain perfluoroalkyl acids, PFOA or PFOS. These chemicals can really damage a man’s libido and worse. Small doses of them are linked to testicular tumours, male infertility and lack of libido. Opt for untreated stainless steel cookware and stay away from microwave popcorn.
  
  7. Alcohol
  
  I’m sure you’ve all had one of those nights where alcohol fueled a pretty unforgettable one-night stand, right? Drinking does let your inhibitions fall and provide for you to become, well, the other you, but it also does a number on your insides. Long-term use of alcohol and binge drinking will not only result in menstrual irregularities, but will rob you of your libido — not to mention what it does to your liver.
  
  8. Oysters
  
  Put down the supposed aphrodisiac and reach for a lobster roll. Oysters are high in zinc which is what we can thank for that elevated libido, but the reality is that oysters also full of parasites and toxic ocean substances which, of course, are absorbed by your body upon consumption, and actually negate any positive effects of that zinc you’re trying so desperately to get in your blood stat for the good times. Leave the oysters in the ocean to play with their fellow toxic friends.
  
  Another factor that affects libido is negative body image. Anyone who struggles with body image will detract from sex and not feel desire or desired. It is our body imperfections that make us unique and sexy.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 18, 2015 at 1:06 pm · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2357
  
  Stop, today is the day you write your bucket list.
  
  What is in your bucket list, have you got one, did you lose yours or is it time to update yours?
  
  Bucket lists, whether they are sexual, personal, career or travel list of things you like to achieve are a great way to set goals and decide what you would like to do when and where. Seeing that sex is loads of fun, you should put together a naughty list. You don’t have to try them all but you can dream, right?
  
  Today take some time to jot down your ‘sex wish list’. Heck, make time to write all of your bucket lists.
  
  Creating a list of things you want to do before you turn 30, 40 or 50 or before you die is a great way to give you focus on the things that you like to achieve.
  
  Sex can quickly become mundane if you stop exploring and discovering. To keep things interesting, new and fresh you should try at least once in your life different sexual scenarios.
  
  To get your juices going here’s a few suggestions to get your bucket list started, updated or to add new things to it.
  
  Go to a Sex Club
  
  Whether it’s a swinger’s party or a BDSM club or a live sex show or as trip club, there’s nothing more exciting than being in a room full of erotically charged people. Find an event in your area (check the RedHotPie Events Section) and find one that suits your needs and curiosity. There are all sorts of different nights and parties to suit all tastes and experience levels. Find a beginners night or ones that encourage first-timers if you’re a bit nervous about being thrown in the deep end, and go experience something new!
  
  Have a Threesome
  
  Invite a girl over and enjoy girl on girl play. Your partner might sit out and watch or maybe allowed to participate to a certain level. Being with someone of the same sex doesn’t make you gay. It is a natural to be curious about same gender sex, nothing new and extremely sensual. Or you could have a threesome with a sex toy and share it equally between you both.
  
  Public exhibitionism
  
  Discretion and careful planning is a must. There are ways and means of “getting off in public” that can be so subtly done no one but you and your partner will ever know. Having your partner rub you between your legs sans panties while you sit comfortably in your movie seat, sneaking into the airplane toilets to join the mile-high club, or hiding behind the sand dunes at the beach. You won’t believe the rush you get from the exciting risk of getting spotted and the intimate sharing of a secret that no one else is aware of. Public sex can be fun with a bit of sneaking preempting and planning.
  
  Play a Sex Game
  
  You can buy specialised sex games at heaps of adult shops or you could make up your own version like strip monopoly or do or dare. Play with ropes and blindfolds. Give it a go!
  
  Have a one-night stand
  
  Go out and have a one night stand. Pick up a person in a club or on an online site with the sole purpose of having a one-off experience. No strings. No names. No phone numbers. Just go for it.
  
  This can be very exciting as you watch each other picking someone else up. Go as far as you are comfortable, it could end up being flirting only or oral sex in the club’s toilets.
  
  You can also pretend to be complete strangers and agree to meet somewhere in a club or bar and get an hotel to finish the night.
  
  Go skinny-dipping together or with some friends
  
  If you are planning to go on holidays make this part of your list. Ditch the bikini and go skinny dipping together, it’s both romantic, naughty and thrilling. Just remember where you left your clothes.
  
  Rough sex
  
  Rough sex is great once in a while and it doesn’t have to the bloke who’s in charge. Take the lead and let him know who’s the boss. Pull his hair, nibble and bite and scratch his back – just don’t get too carried away don’t want to bruise him.
  
  Role play
  
  Whatever yours or your partner’s role play fantasy is, from police woman to nurse to pretending you’ve just met, get dressed up and in the mood and give it a go. Role play is a great way of mixing up your sex life, especially if you’ve been together for a long time – plus, you get to play our your ultimate fantasies.
  
  Go to a Sex Ed Class
  
  Learn the art of Tantra or take a course in shibari rope tying. There are classes and workshops you can take on how to spank, how to learn how to squirt, the art of strip-tease, pole-dance, burlesque. There are always new things to learn and taking a class run by a professional who knows their stuff is a great way to learn all about them.
  
  There are so many new and exciting experiences out there to experience. Bring back the spark and excitement to your sex life is as simple as making a sex bucket list.
  
  Start ticking things off your sexual bucket list!
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 18, 2015 at 1:02 pm · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2356
  
  Stop, today is the day you write your bucket list.
  
  What is in your bucket list, have you got one, did you lose yours or is it time to update yours?
  
  Bucket lists, whether they are sexual, personal, career or travel list of things you like to achieve are a great way to set goals and decide what you would like to do when and where. Seeing that sex is loads of fun, you should put together a naughty list. You don’t have to try them all but you can dream, right?
  
  Today take some time to jot down your ‘sex wish list’. Heck, make time to write all of your bucket lists.
  
  Creating a list of things you want to do before you turn 30, 40 or 50 or before you die is a great way to give you focus on the things that you like to achieve.
  
  Sex can quickly become mundane if you stop exploring and discovering. To keep things interesting, new and fresh you should try at least once in your life different sexual scenarios.
  
  To get your juices going here’s a few suggestions to get your bucket list started, updated or to add new things to it.
  
  Go to a Sex Club
  
  Whether it’s a swinger’s party or a BDSM club or a live sex show or as trip club, there’s nothing more exciting than being in a room full of erotically charged people. Find an event in your area (check the RedHotPie Events Section) and find one that suits your needs and curiosity. There are all sorts of different nights and parties to suit all tastes and experience levels. Find a beginners night or ones that encourage first-timers if you’re a bit nervous about being thrown in the deep end, and go experience something new!
  
  Have a Threesome
  
  Invite a girl over and enjoy girl on girl play. Your partner might sit out and watch or maybe allowed to participate to a certain level. Being with someone of the same sex doesn’t make you gay. It is a natural to be curious about same gender sex, nothing new and extremely sensual. Or you could have a threesome with a sex toy and share it equally between you both.
  
  Public exhibitionism
  
  Discretion and careful planning is a must. There are ways and means of “getting off in public” that can be so subtly done no one but you and your partner will ever know. Having your partner rub you between your legs sans panties while you sit comfortably in your movie seat, sneaking into the airplane toilets to join the mile-high club, or hiding behind the sand dunes at the beach. You won’t believe the rush you get from the exciting risk of getting spotted and the intimate sharing of a secret that no one else is aware of.
  
  Play a Sex Game
  
  You can buy specialised sex games at heaps of adult shops or you could make up your own version like strip monopoly or do or dare. Play with ropes and blindfolds. Give it a go!
  
  Have a one-night stand
  
  Go out and have a one night stand. Pick up a person in a club or on an online site with the sole purpose of having a one-off experience. No strings. No names. No phone numbers. Just go for it.
  
  This can be very exciting as you watch each other picking someone else up. Go as far as you are comfortable, it could end up being flirting only or oral sex in the club’s toilets.
  
  You can also pretend to be complete strangers and agree to meet somewhere in a club or bar and get an hotel to finish the night.
  
  Go skinny-dipping together or with some friends
  
  If you are planning to go on holidays make this part of your list. Ditch the bikini and go skinny dipping together, it’s both romantic, naughty and thrilling. Just remember where you left your clothes.
  
  Rough sex
  
  Rough sex is great once in a while and it doesn’t have to the bloke who’s in charge. Take the lead and let him know who’s the boss. Pull his hair, nibble and bite and scratch his back – just don’t get too carried away don’t want to bruise him.
  
  Role play
  
  Whatever yours or your partner’s role play fantasy is, from police woman to nurse to pretending you’ve just met, get dressed up and in the mood and give it a go. Role play is a great way of mixing up your sex life, especially if you’ve been together for a long time – plus, you get to play our your ultimate fantasies.
  
  Go to a Sex Ed Class
  
  Learn the art of Tantra or take a course in shibari rope tying. There are classes and workshops you can take on how to spank, how to learn how to squirt, the art of strip-tease, pole-dance, burlesque. There are always new things to learn and taking a class run by a professional who knows their stuff is a great way to learn all about them.
  
  There are so many new and exciting experiences out there to experience. Bring back the spark and excitement to your sex life is as simple as making a sex bucket list.
  
  Start ticking things off your sexual bucket list!
- Participant
  Lolita on March 18, 2015 at 6:47 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2236
  Crank The Volume Up Baby – Bedroom Noise.
  
  Bedroom noise and whispering sweet loving nothings, are they a real necessity?
  
  Of course not, but as sure as hell they can help, done right and if in the right mood, and at the right moment.
  
  In saying that, remember that the best sex happens from being in the moment and being yourself; so if moaning isn’t your thing then you shouldn’t force yourself.
  
  In fact, one study showed that when women are noisy during sex it could indicate she’s not enjoying herself. In this particular study they had 71 female participants and found their sounds peaked right before male ejaculation.
  
  Here are some interesting statistics on the bedroom noise:
  
  66% of the women reported making sounds just to speed up their partner’s ejaculation due to her discomfort/pain, boredom and fatigue.
  
  80% of the women made noises when they knew they were not going to orgasm.
  
  87% used these love making sounds to boost their partner’s self-esteem and 92% believed that it did.
  
  Sometimes a bit of noise when it’s spontaneous and just happens – is fun and can be a massive turn-on. However, to go outside your comfort zone to please others can feel awkward.
  
  Some noise, even if it’s an audible sigh, can enhance your love making experience, there’s no need to bring the room down with the loud vibrations of your sex-noise, but if that’s what you are into and that is your sexual personal go full blast!
  
  If he wants noise, instead of moaning give him instructions. Saying things like, “love it when you do that to me.”, “harder”, “don’t stop!” will let your partner know what you want and like getting you to achieve orgasm every time. Your partner will never ask you to make more noise in bed when he sees you enjoy sex with him while being yourself.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 18, 2015 at 6:18 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2351
  
  Break a sweat with a new BDSM fitness Class
  
  Now that the dust has settled on the popular movie Fifty Shades of Grey, the time might be right to look at discovering something new. If you are so inclined to blend your exercise with a bit of erotica then this one might be for you.
  
  You can work up a sweat with bondage style workout
  
  A new workout routine promises to whip your booty into shape 50 Shades of Grey style.
  
  Sydney based Mistress Anna offers a dominant/submissive “forced fitness boot camp “class called Slave Training and Fitness. This fitness class will make your BDSM fantasies come true and help you burn some major calories in just one hour.
  
  During her BDSM based classes, Mistress Anna, combines sit-ups, pushups and running with collars. Uses floggers and whips for motivation and setting the rhythm of the class.
  
  Our sexual tastes are diverse and there are people that want to exercise while wearing leather, latex or collars. Then there are those who just find the right motivation to do pushups, or sit-ups at the sound of floggers and whips or even get down to the floor to kiss their Mistress’ boots.
  
  We all need motivation to get our fitness under control and that’s why reach out for personal trainers.
  
  It is to be expected that this sort of fitness classes will increase in popularity especially after the release of the movie 50 Shade of Grey but Mistress Anna has been practicing her routine for quite a while.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 16, 2015 at 3:11 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2240
  
  Introducing Sexual Fantasies, A Few Things To Consider.
  
  We are sexual creatures and sexual fantasies can be a healthy and natural part of any relationship. Fantasies and experimentation can keep your sex life feeling fresh and exciting. Share your sexual fantasies openly with your partner and decide together which ones you want to act out and which remain fantasies only. When introducing sexual fantasies, a few things should be considered.
  
  First - just make sure the sexual fantasy or behaviour doesn’t lead to emotional or physical discomfort for either partner, lead conflict in the relationship or problems in other areas of your life.
  
  Second - give your partner time to process the new information and to grow into the fantasy.
  
  Third – keep communication open and honest. A relationship that can talk about their sexuality openly without judgement shows strength of love. Be flattered that your partner feels comfortable enough to share his/hers sexual fantasies with you.When honestly speaking divulging you are not ready to reenact certain fantasies it is to be expected. You need to voice your sexual boundaries so it is crystal clear where you stand. Then work from there to fulfilling your fantasies one by one, remember you have a lifetime together and not everything has to happen right now.
  
  Some favourite scenarios among many couples seem to be threesomes or watching their partner with someone else – voyeur or cuckold fantasy. At the mention of any of these or others, don’t freak out, listen to your partner and consider which one you would like to try or you could speak about your own fantasy you’ve wanted to fulfill.
  
  Remember some fantasies will remain fantasies and others will be played out in reality. Sometimes over time what seemed first like an impossibility becomes a reality, because one or both partners came to understand the reason for the fantasy or their desires have changed and matured.
  
  Never forget that sexuality is fluid. Just because you or your partner don’t want to try something today doesn’t mean you won’t get a little more adventurous in the future.
  
  It is important that couples respect each other’s limits and preferences and move at a pace that is sensual and not threatening.
  
  In a relationship, no one should ever compromise their feelings for the other’s fantasy. Period. You need to feel safe, secure, and respected in your sexual relationship.
  
  For example a lot of couples have threesome fantasies, but few are emotionally capable of seeing their partner bump privates with someone else. Your husband might say he’s okay, but once you’re in the middle of things he might wish he’d never gone there.
  
  To concede to any fantasy, whether it be a threesome or something else, because you worry that your partner might leave you if you do not fulfill their fantasy, you might want to re-evaluate how stable your relationship is.
  
  If you both like the idea of your fantasy only then will it be a positive experience for both of you and maybe the third or fourth person.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 15, 2015 at 5:30 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2260
  
  Can Submission Be Sexy?
  
  Submission in the bedroom isn’t about abuse, it’s about trust and exploration—and that might be what you’re looking for.
  BY DENISE J. CHARLES
  
  Now that the dust has settled on the popular movie Fifty Shades of Grey, the time might be ripe for some honest introspection, in terms of how we perceive some of the issues raised by the film. Why, for example, are we so riveted by the idea of sexual submission?
  
  Although we may each experience sex differently, what remains common, perhaps, is the understanding that a sexual relationship involves at some level the surrendering of personal power. Inherent in our ability to experience sexual pleasure is the reality of lowered barriers and a certain sense of vulnerability, no matter what role we think we may be playing in the sex act.
  
  As women who may hold strongly to a sense of personal empowerment in our everyday lives, the idea of completely surrendering personal control to our partner may just rub some of us the wrong way. When we convert this to our sexual relationship, however, the dynamic can change because we can find ourselves favouring a different balance of power in bed. Women who are comfortable in leadership or decision-making roles at home or work, may prefer a dynamic where they are allowed to figuratively lie back and be told what to do or how to be sexually.
  
  For the woman who may hold the reins of power at work or with her kids, surrendering those reins willingly can be the ultimate turn-on for her. Without consciously thinking it through, allowing ourselves to be sexually vulnerable with our spouse is akin to offering him the gift of trust. If we’re in a healthy and well-balanced relationship, then this mutual sharing of trust allows us to let go sexually and be totally uninhibited in bed. This is liberating and can be a vehicle for intensifying pleasure since sex, of course, first begins in the brain.
  
  Despite this very positive take on “sexual surrender,” the challenge which some of us still have, is with the idea of a woman or man for that matter, totally losing herself or himself because of the interplay between sexual pleasure and power.
  
  “Without consciously thinking it through, allowing ourselves to be sexually vulnerable with our spouse is akin to offering him the gift of trust.”
  There is a fine line that exists between total sexual surrender and self-abasement. What happens when trust is extended but our partner may want something from us sexually, with which we may be uncomfortable? When that trust is totally mutual, then our desires must be respected and there is no excuse for undue coercion, blame or guilt. If we do share in a sexual act, which to us is “off the chain,” then this should take place in a framework of mutual agreement. At the same time, there is no guarantee that our sexual desires and preferences will always work in tandem with those of our spouse.
  
  If we feel compelled to give in to every whim and fancy of our spouse, even when we would prefer not to, then we are in danger of self-abuse and of losing ourselves. If we’re unsure of who we are sexually or unsure of what we really want to try, then trust and respect must govern our relationship to mitigate
  
  against our being taken advantage of by a partner who may be more experienced in the realm of kinky sex. If our sense of who we are becomes lost in our partner’s desires, then we are treading the line of self-abasement and need to take stock of ourselves.
  
  It also becomes important for us to examine our motives when pushing the envelope sexually. Do we want to simply say that we’ve done the tying up thing because we think it’s trending and we have this deep need to sexually “keep up with the Jones” or do we realistically want to challenge ourselves to be more uninhibited in bed? If our sexual curiosity has been piqued by the reading of erotica, does this cause us to have unrealistic expectations of our spouse; and how do we handle the disappointment if our husband’s or wife’s response falls below our expectations? Can we explore our sexuality as a couple on our own terms or are we victims of the latest fads touted in books and movies? These are important questions we need to ask ourselves as we delve into the waters of sexual exploration.
  
  Finding an authentic sexual rhythm that is unique to our needs and our joint sexual history as a couple is critical to taking our relationship to the next level. If what we attempt sexually produces discord, fear, rejection or self-recrimination, then we should know instinctively to ditch such practices. As couples, we should mutually discover and do only what is beneficial for us sexually, we should also be aware that sexual experimentation and exploration occurs best in a relational context of open communication and respect. When submission is mutual and laced with trust, then such submission can indeed be sexy.
  
  See original post on Hitchedmag.com
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 14, 2015 at 10:54 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2264
  
  The health benefits of sex
  
  Sex is good, fun and good for your health. Having sex regularly can do more than make you feel closer to your partner, it can make you physically healthy.
  
  Check out the surprising perks you can reap from great sex:
  
  1. Sexercise
  
  Did you know that having sex is the best exercise? During sex we use every muscle in our bodies. Arms, butt, legs, core muscles, they all get used during sex. Sex keeps you fit, strong and help you burn calories anywhere from 85mto 250 calories, depending on the length of the session.
  
  Looks like you can skip the spin class on Saturday and work up a sweat in bed instead.
  
  2. Happier mood
  
  Having sex is a pleasurable, but chemically it has been suggested to elevates mood and reduces depression.
  
  Believe it or not exposure to semen resulted in better moods and fewer depressive symptoms, a study done by the Sate University of New York reported. Two groups of women were studied; one using condoms and others who never did, those women who didn’t reported better moods and fewer depressive symptoms.
  
  Why? One theory is that vaginal tissue is very absorptive, and semen contains a host of mood-elevating chemicals, like endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin, and prolactin. For women, sex is literally a jolt to your system, and if you’re getting it on regularly you might be on cloud nine for quite a while.
  
  3. Glowing Skin
  
  Yes, sex can help you look younger. With increased blood circulation and oxygenation of the blood, a post-coital glow means a temporary brighter complexion. There are also longer-lasting beauty benefits of sex, too. An orgasm triggers a rush of endorphins and growth hormones, like DHEA, that help heal damage caused by the sun, smoking, and cortisol buildup, which is associated with the thinning of the skin. In fact, a Scottish study showed that people who have sex every other day look dramatically younger (up to seven to 12 years!) than their compatriots. If your crow’s feet are a growing concern, make sure to get some alone time in with your guy — your face will thank you
  
  4. Stress Relief
  
  Researchers from Scotland have found that people who were sexually active had lower blood pressure when engaged in stress-inducing tasks, such as public speaking, with those only having sex in the last two weeks charting the lowest number. Sex, especially during orgasm can take you momentarily completely away from all the worries of your life.
  
  5. More Zzz’s
  
  Don’t take it personal if your guy starts snoring shortly after some quality time between the sheets. That intense relaxation you feel right after climax due to an oxytocin rush can actually make you doze off faster. Do you have an important meeting tomorrow, and need to get to sleep fast? Get frisky.
  
  6. Fast Relief from Aches and Pains
  
  Right before climax, a wave of oxytocin rushes through your body that in turn releases endorphins, which are similar in structure to opiates and have the same feel-good affect by occupying morphine receptors in the brain. “It’s pain relief and pain killing effect,” says Britton. Have a headache? Ditch the nap and squeeze in a quickie instead.
  
  7. Fewer Colds
  
  Getting hot and bothered can help you avoid coming down with the sniffles: People who have sex were found to have higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A (IgA), according to researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania. These antibodies help combat diseases and keep the body safe from colds and flu. Save up your sick days and use them as sex days!
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 14, 2015 at 10:34 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2268
  
  How To Give A BlowJob Porn-Style.
  
  Most women like to go down on their man. It turns the most assertive man into potty in your hands. From a room full of chatter to a room full of ‘Ahh.” “Yeah, baby.” Don’t stop!”
  
  His whole body tightens and wriggles when your mouth takes as much of his cock as you can. He moans and groans and tenses up as he’s about to climax.
  
  Giving a man head is not just about theatrics, it’s about technique, enthusiasm, and the feedback that bounces back and forward between the two of you.
  
  His body, whispers and short phrases give you cues on what he wants you to do to take him to orgasm.
  
  Here’s a guide to the best blowjob ever, but do consider that every man is different and likes things done a bit different so keep you eyes, ears open to read his cues:
  
  Step 1
  
  Lips covering the teeth, nobody likes track marks.
  
  Start with slow and sensual tongue moves
  
  A hand that glides and rotates around shaft
  
  Holding the base of the shaft
  
  Cupping the balls (some men don’t like this, so keep watching for cues)
  
  Step 2
  
  Moaning while swallowing
  
  A tough gag reflex while deep throating – (practice, practice…)
  
  A swirling tongue across the head
  
  Tight suction
  
  Alternate between fast and slow suction
  
  Step 3
  
  Bobbing head up and down
  
  Humming and moaning, especially for the vibration
  
  Gently massaging, licking and/or sucking his balls
  
  Step 4 only if you sure he’s into it
  
  Sticking a finger or dildo up his ass (only for the brave)
  
  If he’s trying to hump your face, do more of whatever you’re doing!
  
  Look up into a man’s eyes as you’re giving him head. Let’s him know you are the sexy vixen who is making him weak at the knees.
  Just about now, get ready for the grand finale and it could end end with you – Swallowing, him coming on you, him your hair or in the air.
- Participant
  Lolita on March 14, 2015 at 10:27 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2251
  4 Bedroom Moves Hotter than Fifty Shades of Grey.
  
  Now that the dust has settled on the popular movie Fifty Shades of Grey, the time might be right time to mention your secret BDSM fantasies to your partner.
  
  Before I continue, if you haven’t watched the movie yet and have always wondered how you’d introduce the subject of BDSM to your partner, let the movie do half the work for you.
  
  GO WATCH IT!
  
  If you are too shy then wait for it to come out and watch it in the private f your home. Let me say this, you’ll be missing out especially if for a while now you have been trying to share your BDSM fantasies with your partner.
  
  For those that have watched Fifty Shades of Grey, ever since you have watched the movie, the excitement and curiosity has gotten the best of you and you want to bring some of that excitement into your bedroom. You are feeling braver to bring the subject up about your interest in BDSM. You have been always curious about kinky rope tying, or want to be blindfolded and you were too scared to bring it up. Maybe you have hinted at the subject before and were turned down and felt a tad embarrassed.
  
  This is the time to ask for what you want. The waters have been warmed up for you with the viewing of Fifty Shade of Grey and your partner has been granted some introspective.
  
  How will your relationship benefit from enjoying your desire for little rope bondage and kinky fun? It will open your confidence and love for your body and deepen your relationship.
  
  Prior to starting you need to discuss your boundaries and respect those boundaries. You might want to draw up a contract as in Fifty Shades of Grey and agree on a safe word for when things get a bit out of hand and you need to put a stop to the play session.
  
  Here are four bedroom moves that are hotter than Fifty Shades of Grey:
  
  Be Creative.
  
  Use your bed or chair for tying up. No need to go to any extra expenses, especially in the very beginnings. You might at a later stage build yourself your won ‘red room’. Grab a few scarves or your partner’s old tie and restrain your partner’s hands to the bed or a chair. Keep the knots tight enough to restrict movement but easy to break out of it you need to. Now the fun starts; maybe start with a bit of teasing with an ice cube, feather, candle wax (use appropriate wax not the ordinary candle wax lying around the house), or a vibrator.
  
  The person tied up relinquished control, which is a big turn on for some people but pay close attention to your partner’s responses if they need you to stop.
  
  Role-play
  
  Have with the power dynamic in your relationship. You can choose to be a permanent Sub or Dom or switch. Your play is extensive and bound only by the limits of your imaginations. You can ask the submissive to pleasure you or themselves in front of you. You can delay their pleasure so it builds up to mind blowing orgasms.
  
  Spanking
  
  Think you might like a bit of spanking? Some people enjoy the light spanking with an open hand and others a little firmer. Use your hand or say a wooden spoon or spatula right out of your kitchen cupboard, or paddle. Some people experience pleasure through a mixture of pain and sexual stimulation at the same time. We all experience sexual pleasure differently; the only thing is to find out how to use it for our maximum pleasure. Other times the mood sets the way we need and want to experience sexual pleasure.
  
  Stock up on goodies
  
  Stock up on toys. rope, lube, high quality chocolate, blindfolds, handcuffs, and almost anything else you can imagine are on sale at your local Bunnings (chuckle)or sex toy store.
  
  Shopping together can be a great way to continue the intimate inquiry, and heighten the anticipation.
  
  Have fun exploring so many different ways to express and experience your sexuality in a safe and consensual manner.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 14, 2015 at 10:19 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2303
  
  What is cuckolding?
  
  Cuckold has been around for as long as there have been couples. There are two categories, the traditional and modern definition.
  
  Traditionally, a cuckold is a man whose wife has been having an extramarital affair.To be made a cuckold was considered an extreme humiliation as it implied that you were such a weak loser that you couldn’t even protect your most intimate possession from being taken away from you.
  
  To call a man a cuckold is a traditional insult in Europe akin to “f— you loser.” They even have it’s own hand gesture. If you have Italian friends or have traveled to Italy you hear them use the expression “Cornudo”, which means ;one who allows the “horns” be put to him. Spaniards have a similar term- “cabron”. Strongly advice you not to use these terms loosely as you will have a violent response from all except the cowards.
  
  Modern fetish cuckolding is a form of BDSM role-play in which a committed couple eroticizes the conditioned fears and cultural baggage they have about gender roles, sexual fidelity, and emotional intimacy in the relationship. If the play, moves beyond the couple’s fantasy bedroom talk to involve people it may be considered a form of swinging or polyamory. But what distinguishes fetish cuckolding from other forms of sex is that the man is deriving a sexual thrill from the emotional and/or psychological pain of the idea that his wife is having sex with another.
  
  The man’s arousal comes from being humiliated and made to feel inadequate in front of another. It’s not uncommon for the wife to verbally humiliate her husband by saying things like: “He’s a real man whose cock is deserving of me. He knows how to pleasure me. Go make us some drinks, you excuse for a man!” If there isn’t some sexual thrill related to feelings of shame, of being cheated, failing to be the man she sees in others, etc. It isn’t cuckolding.
  
  Hence, Swingers or polyamorous relationships would not classify as cuckold because they are committed to free love. They don’t feel jealous, humiliated at the idea of their partner having sex with other people. However, in a role-play situation, a couple could get in character and play out what happens in a real cuckolding relationship. Like any good actor when in character you take in the whole extension of your persona and you will experience the psychological gratification that arise from emotions of humiliation and of being cheated.
  
  In a fetish cuckolding;
  
  1. The man knows about his wife’s other arrangements.
  2. The man gets a psychological gratification from feeling humiliated and cheated on.
  
  Although the cuckold usually refers to a married couple where the wife has sex outside the marriage, the evolution of relationships in our time has led to its extension to non-married couples, same sex couples, and even to situations where the man is the polygamous partner.
- Participant
  
  Lolita on March 14, 2015 at 10:18 am · in reply to: Same Room Play Or Separate Room Play #2306
  
  World-First Penis Transplant.
  
  Losing one’s penis is no laughing matter, undoubtedly one of the most excruciating pains but as terrible things go, it’s probably up there with the worse ones. It’s hard to imagine it, but sends shivers down the spine just trying to picture it.
  
  A surgical team from Stellenbosch University in South Africa has made a massive breakthrough in medical history, by being the World’s first to successfully perform a penis transplant.
  
  The 21-year-old patient, who remains anonymous, lost his penis in a botched circumcision. The operation took 9 hours, it involved connecting numerous tiny nerves and blood vessels.
  
  Unlike other vital organ transplants, penile transplant might not be a lifespan procedure, but the psychological effects can be potentially enormous and traumatic. It can lead to men being ostracised, experience solitude and contemplate suicide.
  
  Circumcision is highly common in South Africa, a procedure to mark the transition from boyhood to adulthood. Many boys are maimed or die each year during traditional initiation ceremonies.
  
  This operation took place last December and three months later doctors say the recovery has been rapid and the penis is fully functional. Full sensation has not returned and doctors suggest this could take two years.
  
  Pretty exceptional, this young man is looking at leading normal life instead of a lifetime of immunosuppressant drugs.
  
  Maybe it seems that a penis transplant ranks less in priority than a heart transplant as the latter is life threatening, but life without a penis is not a life.