What is cuckolding?


What is cuckolding?

Cuckold has been around for as long as there have been couples. There are two categories, the traditional and modern definition.

Traditionally, a cuckold is a man whose wife has been having an extramarital affair.To be made a cuckold was considered an extreme humiliation as it implied that you were such a weak loser that you couldn’t even protect your most intimate possession from being taken away from you.

To call a man a cuckold is a traditional insult in Europe akin to  “f— you loser.” They even have it’s own hand gesture. If you have Italian friends or have traveled to Italy you hear them use the expression “Cornudo”, which means ;one who allows the “horns” be put to him.  Spaniards have a similar term- “cabron”. Strongly advice you not to use these terms loosely as you will have a violent response from all except the cowards.

Modern fetish cuckolding is a form of BDSM role-play in which a committed couple eroticizes the conditioned fears and cultural baggage they have about gender roles, sexual fidelity, and emotional intimacy in the relationship. If the play, moves beyond the couple’s fantasy bedroom talk to involve people it may be considered a form of swinging or polyamory. But what distinguishes fetish cuckolding from other forms of sex is that the man is deriving a sexual thrill from the emotional and/or psychological pain of the idea that his wife is having sex with another.

The man’s arousal comes from being humiliated and made to feel inadequate in front of another. It’s not uncommon for the wife to verbally humiliate her husband by saying things like: “He’s a real man whose cock is deserving of me. He knows how to pleasure me. Go make us some drinks, you excuse for a man!” If there isn’t some sexual thrill related to feelings of shame, of being cheated, failing to be the man she sees in others, etc. It isn’t cuckolding.

Hence, Swingers or polyamorous relationships would not classify as cuckold because they are committed to free love. They don’t feel jealous, humiliated at the idea of their partner having sex with other people. However, in a role-play situation, a couple could get in character and play out what happens in a real cuckolding relationship. Like any good actor when in character you take in the whole extension of your persona and you will experience the psychological gratification that arise from emotions of humiliation and of being cheated.

In a fetish cuckolding;

1. The man knows about his wife’s other arrangements.
2. The man gets a psychological gratification from feeling humiliated and cheated on.

Although the cuckold usually refers to a married couple where the wife has sex outside the marriage, the evolution of relationships in our time has led to its extension to non-married couples, same sex couples, and even to situations where the man is the polygamous partner.


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Writing to me is both a form of imparting information and a means of self-exploration. Writing has many challenges and the hurdles are there to strengthen and sharpen the thought. Apart from enjoying writing I also do enjoy the finer things in life; traveling, reading, watching movies ( a bit of a movie buff), fitness and food. Observing people is a hobby of mine and if you pay real attention there is so much said without even meeting or exchanging a word. Try it one day, trust me with time you get better at it. My reason for writing is to endeavor to inspire and also maybe suggest others ways of looking at problems and possible solutions.

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