What are the Pros and Cons of swinging? A short list
When you decide to swing, you don’t necessarily have this neatly ordered list of pros and cons. Realistically, they will materialise as you and your partner dip your toes into the lifestyle and start to slowly explore new possibilities within the relationship.
What are the Pros and Cons of swinging? A short list…..
This list of pros and cons of swinging will indirectly answer the question – Why do people or couples swing?
Here are some pros and cons you might go through or have already gone through:
Let’s start with the pros….
Pros of Swinging
1.Opens communication lines between the two of you
A strong and honest relationship is capable of addressing any topic, especially sexual desire and fantasies. To afford such honest and open relationship is truly a great quality of love. Being able to discuss your desires in a non-judgemental manner will deepen you bond and strengthen your relationship.
2. Will help you explore and discover the many facets of your and your partner’s sexuality.
Experiencing sex with different people will give you an insight into your and your partner’s sexuality. It will make you experience sex, emotions and sensations in its many forms and varieties.
3. Will strengthen your relationship
Swinging will reinforce your already strong relationship. Being able to free yourself from societal shackles and not to conform to its expectations will liberate your relationship and move you to a place of new experiences.
Swingers will experience a deeper bonding through the experience of allowing themselves to share themselves with others.
4. Will force you to confront your fears
You will inevitable confront your biggest fears because becoming a swinger is leaving yourself vulnerable. However, as bad ad it might sound, it is actually a good thing. Hiding your fears will only stack them away and never deal with them. When you become a swinger you are forced to deal with these fears together and find a place where you both are comfortable and happy, lessening the resentment later in years.
5. Will help you achieve “Compersion”
Jealousy, a powerful feeling mostly fed from insecurities and lack of communication, is a reality that many couples need to understand and deal with.
The most important lesson is that jealousy is a totally normal feeling to have. Learning to deal with it will make your connection stronger.
Identify first why you’re feeling jealous. What are its the roots and triggers. Once you identified them you can stop them from taking control. Most importantly, keep communicating with each other.
However, bursts of jealous rage, or any other unacceptable behaviour in front of other people who are not at fault is not acceptable.
How do you achieve compression? It’s a gradual process, with lots of honest and open communication with your partner. You will achieve it through time and lots of talk and it will bring you many happy and interesting possibilities.
Cons of Swinging
We would be lying if we were to bluntly ignore some of the downsides of swinging. They do exist and for many of them are only due to poor communication and sometimes over zealousness. Anything new can and will at times take too much of your time, as we all know balance is the key to happiness.
1. Will have to Keep swinging a secret
Many swingers choose to keep their swinging lifestyle a secret. Unfortunately, society still scrutinises swinger’s choice of lifestyle.
However, in recent times mainstream society has come to accept that people find happiness in many different types of relationships – polyamorous, and same sex relationships – challenging their views on relationships. Coming to the understanding relationships can work even if they do not conform to the traditional views.
2. Some couples will fight and disagree
Agreeing to swing is not a one sided affair, both partners need to agree this is something both want to do and feel will benefit their relationship.
However, you will encounter occasionally, the naïve couple who agreed to swinging to keep the other happy. This will inevitably lead to fights and disagreements, because boundaries haven’t been discussed and one partner’s fears and insecurities will be inflamed causing fights and disagreements.
Couples who aren’t in agreement or have great issues with jealousy should not venture into swinging until the point they have openly discussed their what and why they want to be part of the lifestyle. Furthermore, swinging is not for everyone.
3. Play partners sometimes takes time to find
Just because you have decided to become swingers, it doesn’t mean you will instantly find play partners. You need to find a couple that is compatible with the both of you, whom you both feel attracted to and has similar rules and interests.
It takes a bit of work, sometimes, to get the right match, but other times it just happens. If you are at a swinger’s club, go with the flow and enjoy your swinger’s night out and the very least enjoy each other in a open atmosphere.
4. Swinging can be time costly
As we mentioned before, trying to find or meet another couple that is looking for what you are and has similar boundaries takes time and effort. Juggling career, family, kids and swinging can be demanding but worth all the effort and time if the experience you’ve had was amazing and fostered a deeper bond between the two of you
5. Insecurities will surface
We all have insecurities and fears that will be exacerbated in the swinging lifestyle. Fear that maybe our partner will leave us, enjoy sex a bit better with someone else, someone is prettier or more handsome that you, or even younger, these are only natural feelings.
However, they need to be addressed and that is why it’s important to have a talk after each experience you have had. It might be to state how wonderful it was, or how it made you feel and even to re-evaluate your boundaries