What does it mean to be sexually fluid?
Recently, I was surprised when a close friend of mine who was always into men and identified as heterosexual developed a close emotional bond with another woman. She found herself sexually attracted to another woman. Now she identifies still as heterosexual but into women.
You can probably relate at a personal level or have heard of a similar story. This is what it is to be sexually fluid. You might be sexually fluid and not even realise it or you might have had an idea for a while now. What does it mean to be sexually fluid? It’s important for people to question their sexuality to see that it’s nothing abnormal for preferences to change as we grow older.
You probably came to realise over the years that your preferences and desires have changed. Capturing how for some, sexuality tends to change over time. It’s not abnormal for sexual preferences and orientation to evolve as we grow older.
David Bowie is a classic example of evolving sexuality. In early interviews, David Bowie identified as gay, then as bisexual, but then he was insistently heterosexual for a couple of decades. If that’s not an example of fluidity, I don’t know what is.
Some people don’t have a fixed sexual orientation, and it can be an exciting thing to explore. Part of what’s wonderful about sexuality is its ability to surprise us, to grow and change as we do.
We should also mention that some people’s sexuality never changes and that’s totally valid too.
Sexuality is about experimenting, about discovering and ultimately finding out who you are. For some, it means that they are sexually fluid. That they are inclined to have experiences where gender does not impose on their choices.
It is important to not assume that because someone is sexually fluid, they are DTF because of their identity.
What does sexually fluid mean? Reiterating…
Here’s an analogy that will explain it, hopefully. Just think about someone who is sexually fluid and their sexual orientation changes like your taste buds. You never used to like oysters, but as you’ve aged, you’ve developed a liking to them. Sexually fluid is almost the same – except with people.
It means that our sexuality isn’t stagnant, it changes over time and across situations. In simple terms, sexually fluid refers to the idea that sexual preferences have the capability to change over a lifetime, and in many cases is dependent on different situations. Specifically, this idea of fluidity refers to the flexibility of sexual responses. This means that it is possible for someone to experience desires for any gender under certain circumstances, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Being sexually fluid is to be open to what arouses you sexually, regardless of sexual label and gender.
So why should all this matter to you? For one thing, if you find yourself attracted to a gender you were never into before, it’s important to know that those feelings aren’t rare or weird or abnormal.
So how do you determine how sexually fluid you are now, or might be in the future? Simply by living, experiencing, being in tune with yourself, aware and unashamed of what you feel.
Want to watch how it pans out for sexually fluid couples, watch MTV’s Are You The One?‘ Season 8’s sexually fluid cast, which the network revealed on May 30, will be the first to ever be featured on a reality TV dating show in the United States.
Hopefully, watching this show will help more people become accepting of sexual fluidity and allow others, or even themselves, to become open about their possibilities. A bouncing board of sorts to explore your own preconceived notions, along with your feelings, which could be the first step to something really good.